Airing on an IP address near you. On the 6th of December, 2021, a full investigative report commenced regarding the commercial retail of misprisions. The proceeding was largely unprofessional and unofficial. In essence, speculative fiction. Except, a scam is, in fact, non-fiction. Creative, yes. Contradictory. But, true, nonetheless. As someone…

In other words, Lorde was right. “Wearing a mask is conducive to not bumping into walls.” Says a very Bohemian, personified puppy of a young man at a Halloween rave party. The year is 2021, in an alternate universe where our dear virus, 15th Greek letter in the alphabet and…

The idea of utopia, first coined by Sir Thomas More, in the 16th century, was always meant to be satire. It was always intended to be expressed as a parodic reflection of society’s obsession with the unattainable. Elegantly defined as “the desire to obtain that which cannot be obtained”. Utopia…

Mental health is criminally underrated. It is the antithesis of currency cashed out from clout. The kids can’t afford to advertise candour, so the truth of mental health is adorned with powder, blush and mascara, injected with a mélange of chemical enhancements and deformed beyond recognition by filters. Awareness of…

Red & blue joy-cons? Or matte finish bruises? Depicted in this image, aside from the reflection of nascent forehead acne, is one of the first release models of a Nintendo Switch. I distinctly remember the night I made that purchase in late March of 2017. Only one was left in…

Urea, on the rocks. For the first time in never, I took a drug test. And yes, the experience was very pissy. I visited a temp agency under the false impression of desperation. …

I was naïve, oblivious, curious, eager to please. I was 9. He was 16. We were at church on a Sunday. The area was poor, mildly crime-ridden and predominantly black. …

“Prithee, please.” The archaeologist bids to the butler. Except, in spite of being set in the appropriate era for cant, “prithee” is not the word of usage. The Suffolk twang that Fiennes uses may sound as such, even if only to avid linguists or word nerds like myself. However, the…

The modern are privileged, for they know what lies beneath the skin. Trolls in the papacy, agoraphobic physicians and priests who administer poison in every self-serving sip of communion. From the quaint conurbation of Old and Central Yharnam, these curious authorities welcome you. And, when I say “trolls”, I mean…